Viva La Spooky: Sex Toys to Get You in the Mood… for Halloween


Halloween is one of my favorite times of year. I’m a self-proclaimed connoisseur of creepiness and revel in the chance to celebrate it. So, I’m using this opportunity to share a little spookiness in the form of sex toys!


Fleshlight Freaks

Do you want to fuck a vampire but don’t want to deal with an Angelus situation?

Trying to do sexy cosplay as zombie Shane from The Walking Dead?

Well, my friend, the Fleshlight Freaks line has what you need.

Fleshlight‘s “Freaks” are perfect for Halloween. The line of masturbation sleeves and dildos includes zombies, aliens, vampires, cyborgs, and other monsters.

These toys are impressively detailed and the colors are fantastic. I never thought I’d say “I bet Frankenstein’s monster’s dick would feel great!” but, here we are.

Check out the Fleshlight Freaks masturbators and dildos here.



Persian Palm Bats Dildo

Lookit! It’s frickin’ bats.

I sadly missed my chance to get the limited edition Leoweenie from Vixen a few years ago and I’ve been upset about the lack of bat themed sex toys ever since.

So imagine my delight when I noticed the little ceramic toy company from Tuscany, Persian Palm, posted a picture on Twitter of a bat-covered dildo. I may have shrieked with excitement.

I’ve been told they’re working on other Halloween items at the moment, and I will update as soon as I have more info.

Persian Palm’s toys are all hand-painted and they do custom orders. If you’re interested in a custom toy, you can order through their website or from Luvoqa.



Funkit Toys

Kenton, the fucksmith responsible for Funkit Toys‘ creations, is always coming up with new and creative silicone toys.

For Halloween, he’s made spooky versions of existing designs. Some examples are the Zombie Swell, Pumpkin Pangolin, and Frankenswing (pictured on the right).

If you’re unfamiliar with Funkit, the usual designs are made of clear silicone with a splash of color. The colorful Halloween toys are a change of pace but they look amazing and are giving me real Tirisfal Glades vibes.1

Check out Funkit’s Halloween toys here. (PSST! Use code “COCKTOBER17” for 20% off!)



Exotic-Erotics Wraith

Exotic-Erotics makes amazing fantasy toys (like the Phoenix, which is one of my favorite dildos). In my opinion, the Wraith has got to be the most Halloween-appropriate.

“Wraith” refers to a ghost or spirit in general, but I specifically imagine the Nazgûl from Lord of the Rings, and they’re pretty much scary as fuck.

Plus, I suppose I’ve watched enough American Horror Story to develop a thing for ghost fucking? And I don’t mean the kind that involves making pottery.

Find the Wraith and other fantasy toys at Exotic-Erotics.



 All the Tentacles

Similar to my despair about missing out on the Leoweenie, I was disappointed that I didn’t manage to scoop up a Whipspider Rubberworks tentacle before that business closed.

But from hentai to Lovecraftian fantasies, tentacles as a sexual object have become ubiquitous –  especially if you’re entrenched in sci-fi/fantasy nerd culture like myself. And this means there’s no shortage of lovely mysterious tentacle dildos these days!

Specifically you can find them in abundance on Etsy. There are all sorts of shapes, sizes, and colors to choose from. Here are a few shops to check out:  FckBuddiesGespenstsFantasyGear, LovecraftersToysNecronomicoxTtamage, and Geeky Sex Toys (pictured on the right)

Icicles also makes a pretty glass tentacle.



Divine Interventions Devil and Grim Reaper

And last but certainly not least are the Devil and Grim Reaper dildos from Divine Interventions.

When it comes to horror and Halloween imagery, not much else is more iconic than these two macabre figures.

These dildos are firm and very textured, making them especially not suited for the feint of heart (or vagina, for that matter).

You can buy the Devil and Grim Reaper dildos from Divine Interventions, where you can also find interesting religiously themed toys like “Jackhammer Jesus” and “The Diving Nun.”



Psst! Don’t forget your paranormal erotica!

Girls Who Bite: Lesbian Vampire Erotica

Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty Trilogy

Red Velvet and Absinthe: Paranormal Erotic Romance

Darker Edge of Desire: Gothic Tales of Romance

  1. Speaking of, if anyone wants to help fund my World of Warcraft subscription, I accept donations via PayPal. Ya know, just, putting that out there… []

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