If you’re reading this you probably already know that sex toys can be a great way to have more fun and satisfying sexual experiences with partners, so I can skip that spiel. But maybe when it comes to bringing sex toys along with you on a date, you have some reservations about it.
Maybe you’re concerned about a potential mishap with a vibrator turning on in your bag, or maybe you’re worried about how your partner will feel about using toys. I understand those struggles so I want to offer some tips on how to make bringing sex toys on a date go smoothly!
First of all, let’s discuss the practical aspect: transporting the toys.
If you’ll be getting to and from your date in your own car or your partner’s car, there’s not a lot to fret over. You could just toss what you want to bring in any size bag and put it in the trunk. Easy. But since a lot of folks only take a backpack, purse, or small bag with them and take some form of public transportation, I’ve written these tips with those factors in mind.
If you’re taking a vibrator, your biggest concern is probably that it will accidentally turn on at an inappropriate time. Fortunately there are two simple solutions to ensure that won’t happen. The first is to take a toy that has a travel lock feature. The second is taking a vibrator that uses batteries, since you can just leave the batteries out until you’re ready to use it.
Choosing something small and/or discreet is of course a good idea. Small toys like clitoral vibrators and cock rings are easy to toss in your bag and are less conspicuous than, say, a glow-in-the-dark fantasy dildo. Clitoral vibes that are shaped lipstick or mascara, like the We-Vibe Tango or LELO Mia (shown in the picture above), might blend in more easily among other items in your bag. They won’t fool anyone if they get a closer look at it but they’re not necessarily immediately identifiable.
And for lube, you can buy travel sizes and sample sizes. They’re small enough to easily fit in your bag and not likely to spill. If you use a hard case to carry condoms in, sample lube packets could easily fit in there too. Sliquid and Uberlube are two excellent brands that offer travel and sample sizes.
Are you going on a date with someone you’ve been having sex with for a while or someone you recently connected with on Tinder, OKCupid or a site like Sex With No Strings? How well you know the person your dating might change what your best options are for sex toys to use together.
If it’s a new relationship or hookup and you want your partner to use a toy on/with you, you might consider a toy that won’t require a lot of “teaching.” It usually takes some time to learn each other’s preferences and what works for your bodies and some sex toys are very dependent on those preferences. I don’t mean that taking time to explain what you like is a bad thing, but sometimes you’d rather get into the action than spend several minutes explaining, for example, a toy’s functions and also the very specific way you like to hold and thrust it. Similarly, if you have a toy with a confusing app, maybe skip that.
If you want to use the same toy with more than one partner, make sure it’s made of a material that you can sanitize (silicone, glass, wood, metal, ceramic, ABS plastic). I always advocate for using toys made from those materials anyway because they are body-safe but it’s especially important when you’re going to be sharing toys.
Surprise or Tease?
Using sex toys with your partner can be an opportunity for a sexy surprise or a chance to tease them and keep their mind on the hot sex you’ll be having later.
If using sex toys isn’t a common occurrence for you and your partner, or if they’re a new partner, you may want to discuss it before the date so you know if they’re into it or not and what preferences they might have. Even a simple, nonchalant, “hey, how do you feel about sex toys?” will do.
If your partner is interested, you can start having fun with the sex toy before the date even starts by teasing them with the idea of using it together. Here are some ideas to make them shiver with anticipation:
– Wear a Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace as a sexy reminder for your partner
– Let them know you’ll be wearing a butt plug when you meet up with them
– Send them a pic of the toy(s) in your bag on the way there
– Use a wearable toy that is app-controlled or reacts to music
If you think it’s exciting to surprise your partner with sex toys you’d like to use with them, that can be fun too. When I say “surprise,” I mean your partner doesn’t know you brought sex toys to play with together. What I do not mean is using toys on your partner without getting consent to do so first. That’s absolutely never okay! But revealing the toys to your partner can be a turn on because it’s something new and pleasurable to try.
So, hopefully this post has helped you feel more confident and comfortable about bringing sex toys on dates!
If there are still some concerns you have about doing it, what are they?
If you have some tips of your own to share, let me know in the comments!
P.S. This post is sponsored but, as always, all writing and opinions are my own.